I love it

... that even when I am not committed to God, He is committed to me.

i love it that even when my love towards God fails, His love towards me does not fail.

God thank you for everything in my life.

thank you for

... everything.

everything is such a blessing!

family, church, Jane, school, EXAMS, life groups, FRIENDS, my leaders.... man.

God you literally have showered me with blessings!

You are so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God's grace to do ministry...

hi!

I haven't blogged in a long time - sorry I'm lazy with this.

***

So I just got back from a 5 day camp.

I was asked to be the speaker for a Crusaders study camp.

- so this specific camp, was year 12 students who are about to sit their HSC, and they were all from private schools.

I was asked to give 1 Jesus talk each day.

When I was asked to do this, many questions ran through my head:

Should i do it!?

Am i even READY!?

What if i suck!?

I'm too young/inexperienced to do this..

I can recommend so many better preachers than me.

and the list of mental questions went on and on.

i was thinking so much that i even thought that it was an injustice to God's good news.. because i may not do a good job of preaching the gospel.. where as if it was someone else, they might do it better than me.. - hence maybe someone else should do it.

anyways, all these thoughts aside, I spoke with a few of my mentors and leaders, and they all told me I should go for it.

So i did.

I didn't even know what to expect.

I just knew that i knew nothing.

haha! read that line again!

i have no idea how to preach, i don't even know how to prepare a sermon

I don't know how to speak to an audience and make them engage with the talk

i don't know..... i don't know... i don't know...

wow. one thing i learnt about myself - is that i think too much.

God gave me a precious opportunity to rack up some preaching experience, to share His good news [which saved my life], and to walk out in my calling.

So i went.

and I learnt about another aspect of God's grace.

see, grace is getting something you don't deserve.

Justice: punch for a punch

mercy: not getting the punishment/wrath you deserve

grace: unmerited favour.. - getting a GOOD THING, which you DON'T deserve.

and God's grace was all over me.

ok. If i was to do like a critical evaluation of my 4 talks [Jiwon gave the day 4 talk! - Jiwon is: http://johnjiwonlee.blogspot.com/ ]

first talk: it was okay.. pretty decent i thought

second talk: was complete fail.. i didn't even know what i was saying up there.

third talk: okay.. better than the second day..

fourth talk: **jiwon**

fifth talk: really good

and that's kinda how i felt about my own talks.

now before we go on, i need to give you this disclaimer.. [some of you may not even know me that well]

************

Preaching God's word is not about the preacher..

whether I sucked or not, is irrelevant - it was whether God wanted to speak through me or not.

************

So I'm not saying that preaching God's word is about me.

all I am doing, is just externally processing [blog] whats going on in my head.

so yeah.

it was a long-ass camp! 6 day camp!

and throughout the camp i heard from different leaders - of different students getting saved, and different students recommitting to Jesus.

WOW!

How amazing is this?!!?!???!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!

it blows my mind.

i mean.. - it blows my mind that they got saved, and i just want to celebrate this forever.

but what also blows my mind is that God would use a pathetic, hopeless preacher like me.

that in His goodness and infinite wisdom, He used my pathetic words..

wow.

His grace is all over me.

Today was the last day of camp, and after i preached, it was morning tea time in the dining hall, and one of the students came up to me and another leader and just began to share his heart.. - and how he felt the desperate need to repent and get things right with God.

So we sat down with him and prayed with him.

He began to just weep in repentance.

right there in the dining hall, with all the yr 12 students walking about.

He just wept as he responded to the mercy and grace of God.

and i was reminded:

man.. this is the moment i live for..

it was..

glorious to say the least..

Later he told me that he felt a huge burden lift off him, and that he's feeling a real intense joy that he's never felt before..

haha!

God you are SO GOOD! and so much more committed to this broken world that I am!

*****************************

This one song has been wrecking me so hard these days.

its an old hymn, and its called "How deep the Father's love for us"

as I was driving back from the campsite, this song kept repeating in my head.

and i just began to weep..

How good is God?

some of you who will read this - you knew me 4 years ago right?

I was a fool!

absolutely pathetic and hopeless.. I was worshipping myself, and I thought i was "the man"

I deserved death, hell, eternal wrath and punishment. [because God is a perfectly holy God]

but instead, He poured out His wrath on His one and only Son Jesus..

.....and now I can enjoy my relationship with the Father.

...I wept as I drove back from the campsite.. and as i reflected on His grace over my life.

i couldn't control myself.. I had to weep more.

my prayer is that the words of song, would impact your heart in a new, intense, passionate way.

first one is a male voice.

and the second one is a female.

haha.. I'm funny right?

these are the words:

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

I remember.

my friend,

my father,

my shepherd,

my King, my God.

wow.

I can't believe you died for me.

and i can't believe you defeated death.

"Truth didn't stay in the grave"

so all those years ago, on this very day, you resurrected.

how crazy.

God, this means the world to me.

not only did you die for me, and die in my place,

but you rose again, - something which no-one else can do.

yes, you are the living God.

and i will follow you. i will serve you all the days of my life.

God today means everything to me.

it is probably the most significant day in the year calendar for me.

if this day didn't exist, i would have no future, no hope, no desire, no passion, no goal.

but

BUT

because this day DOES exist,

i will follow you on the narrow road, i will carry my cross, and i will continue to work it out..

..with fear and trembling

God. a lifetime as a preacher pastor.

it scares the crap out of me Lord and you know that.

i still have so many insecurities, and so much lack.

but God, your grace is actually enough.

God, the resurrection work you did in me - this is enough for me to change the world for you.

I need nothing else.

i need no other reason or proof.

you changed my life, and because of that I will testify to your limitless grace.

God, my future is in your hands..

let me faithfully, and boldly, declare of your salvation until the day i see you face to face.

nothing else matters.

teach me how to serve your church.

teach me how to serve your daughter.

teach me how to talk about You!

you died for me, you died in my place.

you rose again - for me.

and with that same resurrection power, i go forth.

yes Lord, i will walk into my destiny.... my calling.

God i dont even care about anything else.

i just want the world to know about You

...and i want them to experience what you did in me.

God, its ridiculous.

my loyalty lies with you.

You are my God.

book review

I am currently reading a book called "Vintage Jesus"

written by Mark Driscoll & Gerry Breshears

JESUS IS WITH US AS WE BRING THE GOSPEL TO THE WORLD

Shortly before his ascension into heaven, Jesus gave some final orders for his people to follow: "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Jesus' declaration that he alone possesses all authority both in heaven and on earth is an unparalleled claim that is devastating to our current postmodern mood. Rather than seeing the world as a muddied mess of equally valid and authoritative perspectives, cultures, opinions, spiritualities, philosophies, genders, generations, races, and the like, Jesus boldly revealed that he alone rules over all with all authority and without any exception.

Subsequently, today Jesus Christ is alive and well, seated on a throne at the right hand of God the Father being worshiped as God by angels and departed saints. Today Jesus alone rules and reigns in exalted glory as Lord over man and beast, male and female, gays and straights, young and old, rich and poor, black and white, simple and wise, powerful and powerless, republicans and democrats, married and single, chaste and unchaste, modern and postmodern, Christians and non-Christians, angels and demons, the living and the dead, every religion, every spirituality, every philosophy, every thought, every word, every deed, every dollar, and every inch of creation, which he claims as his possession under his throne that is over all. Practically, this means that Jesus has authority over the sex we have, money we spend, food we eat, web sites we browse, words we speak, places we journey, attitudes we project, ideas we entertain, friends we embrace, shows we watch, drinks we consume, hobbies we enjoy, and work we do, because Jesus has all authority over all people and all things without any exception.

By grace we love and are loved by this glorious and exalted Jesus whom we worship unceasingly, serve unwaveringly, and proclaim unashamedly until our face is at his feet.

One Year On

I cannot believe it.

i absolutely cannot believe God's faithfulness in my life.

three things:

1. i am so undeserving

2. i never meet the "standard" - seeing the standard is Jesus

3. God pours into me. All the time. Whether i'm "good" or not.

Today is a special day for me.

It marks exactly ONE YEAR since I returned from DTS..

wow.

DTS.

WOW..

some of the best six months of my life.

the last 365 days has been a blur.

a blur.. of revival awakenings everywhere, answered prayers, and just a firmer grounding in Christ.

HOW faithful is God?

I am at Bible college now!

RIDICULOUS!!!

I had so many prayer points when i was coming back from DTS one year ago, and all of them have been answered!!

I want to share just a few with you:

1. Revival in Sydney

GOD bring REVIVAL IN SYDNEY!!! - was my prayer..

and He did just that.

that was not my only prayer though..

i also desperately wanted to be a part of it.

and by the GRACE of God, i am. ^___^

2. God multiply the DTS-ers that are sent out from NLCC!

wowowowowowowow i want to cry when i think of this.

in two days time i welcome back 3 of my closest friends from DTS.

wowowowow

God, you are soooooo incredibly faithful.

I was checking out my diary, and in a few weeks, it will have marked exactly one year of Community Outreach Night

WOW.

This is a whole new post for another day...

CON

wow.

my prayer is that God would somehow use this ministry to rally a general to revival.

living a LIFESTYLE of revival.

living a TRANSFORMATIONAL lifestyle.

Not worshipping on Sunday mornings,

but LIVING a lifestyle of adoration and worship.

Dear God,

It's been exactly one year since I came home from DTS.

God, within the past 365 days, my desire to serve you and expand your Kingdom

has ONLY grown.

My desire for holiness, purity, righteousness, and a lifestyle of self-discipline..

..... its only grown.

God my desire for revival has ONLY grown.

my identity in You has become much firmer, and I am now way more confident of what You have called me to do.

God, by your grace and mercy, allow me to serve you faithfully til the day I see you face to face.

One year on, I realise, You're still worth it all.

Power Level: 9000

What an AMAZING season of life I am in!

Full-time Bible college is intense.

Here are the few things that are going through my heart as I do Bible college:

1. I am actually a sinner. - The more I "learn" at Bible college, the more I realise just how sinful I am, and just how badly I need God's grace to cover me..

....and it does cover me... so perfectly.

2. As the days go by, the calling on my life becomes clearer and clearer. No more insecurities, Just a man on a mission - which God commissioned me to do.

Nothing more, nothing less.

3. I am still so intensely hungry for revival.. More than ever. Revival in the churches, revival in Sydney, Australia and the whole world.

4. I find that the more we get into Scripture, and the more we dive into it, My head becomes clearer.. my ability to think and assess myself - becomes so much easier..

wow. How amazing the Word really is.

_________________________________________

so what is my purpose with this?

I am soooooooooooo determined.

to pour into anything and everything.

anyone and everyone that will listen.

I will pour out everything i have, know, and have to offer.

This life isnt even about me anymore.

I need to bring as many people as I can close to Jesus.

and the Gospel.

- which saved ME from eternal death, and i just know it will save you too.

all of 2010 I was crying out for "Passion and Discipline"

now.. in 2011, that has a whole new meaning.

MORE LORD!!!!!!!!!!

some things that God has been speaking to me recently:

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it."

- Jesus Christ.

my question to myself is this..

no no.

my question to you, and the world is this:

What does that look like?

What does it actually look like when someone denies himself?

I will deny myself the "good things"

- in order to gain the intense joys of following Christ...?

so maybe to me, in this season of life, it means giving up "good things"

in order for the "best thing"

yep.

definitely worth it.

here is a question for all you Christ-followers.

are you denying yourself?

are you counting the cost?

are you carrying your cross?

this cannot be done alone!

__________________________________________________

2011 is going to be one crazy crazy year.

my prayer and desire, will be that God sets a whole new standard for us - in what the word "Radical" actually means.

NLCC - man I love it.

5 new bible college students

5 returning DTS-ers

5 more leaders at Community Outreach Night

man. this is going to be one crazy crazy year.

God,

help me to pour out everything I have, for the sake of Your name, and the good news in which You bring.

I pray that you would challenge my standards daily.

Increase the passion and discipline in my life.

...For the sake of Your holy name.

in the unfailing name of Jesus i pray.

Amen.

Good Theology

I deserve hell.

everything else is a gift from God.

thank you Jesus!